You Are the Average of the Five Closest People to You
There’s a quote by Jim Rohn that’s been echoing in my head lately: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” It’s one of those truths that seems simple-until you sit with it.
It’s not just about who’s in your group chat or who you grab dinner with. It’s about who shapes your energy. Who influences your beliefs, your ambition, your emotional state. These people, your five have the power to pull you forward, hold you steady, or keep you stuck.
Robin Sharma talks about this in his teachings too. He says, “Your environment is always stronger than your will.” Which means even with the best of intentions, if you’re constantly surrounded by negativity, drama, or complacency-it’s going to affect you. Slowly, subtly. Sometimes without you even realizing it.
That’s what happened to me. I had to take a good, honest look at who I was giving my time to. Who I was letting into the most intimate corners of my life, and truthfully, not all of those relationships were adding value. Some felt transactional-like I was always giving, always listening, always supporting, but rarely on the receiving end. It started to wear on me. I’d leave certain conversations feeling drained instead of filled. Like I had made a withdrawal from my own emotional bank account just to keep the connection alive, so I made a conscious decision to take a step back. Not out of bitterness. Not even out of anger. Just awareness. I realized I was craving depth. Reciprocity. People who weren’t just taking up space-but helping me expand. If I wanted more of those people in my life, I had to become more of that person too. That meant showing up differently. Protecting my peace. Being intentional with my time and energy.
Tara Brach, in her teachings on presence and compassion, often reminds us that "what we practice becomes stronger." If we practice people-pleasing, we become more disconnected from ourselves. But if we practice self-honoring-setting boundaries, speaking truth, choosing connection that feels aligned-we begin to attract a life that reflects that back to us.
So I’ll ask you what I asked myself: Who are your five? Do they inspire you? Ground you? Reflect your values back to you-or distract you from them? This isn’t about perfection. It’s about alignment. It’s about making sure the people closest to you are helping you become the version of yourself you’re actually trying to grow into.
The truth is, relationships either fuel your fire-or slowly dim your light. Choose your five wisely, and even more importantly-be someone else’s five worth rising with.
